Question

Topic: Copywriting

Brochure Verbiage

Posted by saratogahiker on 5/2/2017 at 2:39 PM ET 50 Points
Inabrochuremarketingyourbusinessservices,lettingtheprospectknowhowyoucanbenefitthem,whichverbiageisbetter?

"CompanyX" vs "we"
e.g.:
"CompanyX has brought together experts..."
"We have brought together experts..."

"clients" vs "you"
e.g.:
"...to help our clients achieve their vision..."
"...to help you achieve your vision..."
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RESPONSES

  • Posted by Jay Hamilton-Roth on 5/2/2017 at 4:35 PM Accepted
    It's more intimate to talk to the reader. So use "we" and "you", rather than 3rd person.
  • Posted by Gary Bloomer on 5/2/2017 at 6:42 PM Member
    Use this approach: "...to help you achieve your vision..."

    You need to talk about your reader twice as often as you talk about yourself.
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