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Nice message, Randall. Thanks for sharing it with us.

In our effort to live in the moment, we sometime forget that "the moment" INCLUDES all the lessons learned in the past and all our dreams for the future.

As US Thanksgiving approaches, I echo your sentiments and urge that all KHE participants reflect on how fortunate we are to be able to learn from and share with a community of like-minded marketing professionals around the world.

I have personally gone through a bit of a rough patch lately. The support and encouragement which I have received from this forum has helped me more than you can imagine. Thank you very much.

Dear Randall,

It is incredibly easy to look back and to torture one's self with "would ofs, could ofs, should ofs", isn't it? We've all done it and no doubt we will all do it again.

But really, it's pointless.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received came
on this subject and it came from my Dad, Des.

Yesterday, Sunday November 21st, marked the sixth anniversary of his death. I miss him terribly and there was SO much I wanted to ask him, to talk to him about, and to share with him.

He suffered a massive heart attack at home on the evening of November 19, 2004 and by all measures,
he ought to have died there and then.

And by the same token, I ought to have had my ass on
a flight to the UK THAT evening. As it was, I left the following day—Saturday.

Part of me was holding out hope that he'd somehow pull through. Part of me wanted the man who used to sweep me in his huge muscular arms when I was a little boy to leap this building of a heart attack in a single bound.

Valiantly, and despite the fact that he'd suffered major brain damage as a result of oxygen starvation, he held on for as long as he could. The last words he spoke were to tell my sister not to cry, not to worry, and to assure her that he loved us all.

Then, slowly, and on his terms, not on those of the doctors and nurses, and just as my flight left Philadelphia, he slipped quietly from this world into the next. He was 73.

Oddly enough, the advice he'd given me came a few years before, at Manchester airport of all places back
in March, 2001. He was a man of few words and I could tell that he was uncomfortable and emotional at the prospect of saying goodbye. We had a cup of coffee, chatted about the weather and about family things.

When my flight was called we both stood, awkwardly, and shook hands. Then I hugged him. We were both upset although he was soldiering through. I don't recall his words that led up to our parting, but it was something along the lines of my not owing anyone anything in terms of how I'd got where I'd got, career-wise. I told him I begged to differ and that I owed him and my Mum everything. Then, he put his hand on my shoulder and said "Well, you know what they say, don't you?" I said "No Dad, what's that?"

His response was simple, moving, profound, and will remain with me for the rest of my life. He simply said
"Never look back." And with that, he turned on his heel and walked away. I knew he was crying as he strolled away because I saw him reach for his hankie. But the old bugger was right.

Never look back. It's a waste of God damn time. The only things we can control are our actions and thoughts NOW.

It's THOSE things that will create tomorrow's yesterdays.
So my humble two cents worth here is as follows: do what you can today to make tomorrow a day of joy, a day of celebration. Put in place TODAY every piece of the jigsaw you can so that tomorrow's sky is bluer, so that tomorrow's sunflowers are yellower, and so that the recollections that propel you become the inspiration that drives others to do even more good, in the world, in their lives, for their clients, customers, and buyers, and for their own sense of self and peace of mind.

I contribute to this forum for one reason and one reason only: to help people improve their marketing. I've made some firm connections and some solid friends as a result of getting involved and contributing to this forum and for me, despite having lost my job nine months ago, the fact that I've made the friends I have means more than most of you will ever know.

I'm a firm believer in a simple philosophy that,
when applied, can transform a business because all relationships are founded on trust, knowing, and liking the person on the other side of the relationship.

It's a philosophy that EVERYONE can put into practice for free, today (after all, why wait?) and it works EVERY TIME and it works despite regret. Here it is: to get you must give.

Regret feeds on fear and fear is what kills the human spirit. But when you give, openly, freely, there's no room for regret and as far as I'm concerned, when a questioner on this forum doesn't like one of my answers, it's first of all, THEIR problem, and secondly, not my fault if they do not or cannot see the sense of my contribution.
Am I always right? Fortunately, no. But a lot of the time I am right and it thrills me beyond words to know that I've helped someone towards something that might help them become more successful.

We have a tendency to look at the single negative in a box of positives. I say screw that. Let's look forward, toward better, brighter things for ALL.

This Thanksgiving, I have much to be thankful for. Regrets can stop you dead in your tracks or they can be used as lessons well learned. The difference is made by attitude, outlook, and self belief.

In 1888, Friedrich Nietzsche, in "Twilight of the Idols" wrote "What does not kill me, makes me stronger".

So yes, let's reflect. But let us then draw strength from those reflections. Let us declare victory BEFORE we stride out onto the field. And let's all have a thankful Thanksgiving and a stellar 2011.

Kind regards,

—Gary B.

Gary Bloomer
The Direct Response Marketing Guy™
Wilmington, DE, USA