Relationships are like consumer economies.

Well, not really. But they do have one thing in common. Neither can prosper unless they are in a state of growth.

An economy that doesn't grow ends up being called a recession. And a relationship that doesn't grow ends up dead.

It's true.

You can never have more than one first date with someone. If the second date is just like the first one, you have a problem. Relationships evolve or die. We either progress or we go our separate ways.

And the same is true of email. In that regard, email is very demanding of marketers. With email you can't keep talking to your customers or subscribers in the exact same way. You need to recognize the changing relationship with your audience.

This may sound obvious, but it's not.

With traditional, broadcast media, you don't have to adjust your message in accordance with the length of your relationship with individual customers.

A TV ad for Colgate toothpaste can present a message that fits as well for a first-time buyer as it does for the person who has been brushing with Colgate for twenty years.

A glossy brochure for a Honda Accord says the same thing to a first-time, 20 year-old buyer as it does to a 40 year-old who is on her fourth Honda.

Broadcast media are not held to the same standard when it comes to recognizing particular moments in a relationship.

But with email, you are held to a very high standard.

Email is a one-on-one medium that is very immediate and proximate in nature. The relationship you have with your readers either evolves, or it wilts.

For example, let's say you have just signed up at nicksGifts.com for their newsletter. You might receive the following by email.

Dear Joanne,

Thank you for subscribing to the nicksGifts Newsletter. Each week we'll send you news on what's hot in the stores - plus some terrific discount offers.

That's fair enough for the opening to that first email.

The fictitious nicksGifts.com business model depends on people using those discount offers, so another email is sent out 3 days after the first.

Dear Joanne,

This week's discount offers all expire on midnight this Friday. So hurry - before it's too late!

Again, fair enough. But it could have been a little more personal. Something like...

Dear Joanne,

I couldn't help but notice that you haven't jumped at any of this week's great offers, etc...

This second version inserts the presence of the writer as a human, rather than as a company or a marketing department. It sets the ground for a more personal relationship.

Two weeks later 'Joanne' still hasn't used any of her offers. So she receives the following...

Dear Joanne,

Fall is here, Halloween gifts are on special - and it's time for you to redeem some nicksGifts.com offers!

Not unreasonable - but pretty impersonal. More to the point, this third email does nothing to recognize that it is the third in a series - all from the same person.

How about something like...

Dear Joanne,

I know - I'm writing to you more than your friends and the IRS combined.

But with so many great Halloween gifts on special, I really wanted to let you know, etc.

Maybe a little cute for some, but OK for nicksGifts.com. The thing with this version is that it is more appropriate to the moment. It recognizes that it's part of a sequence of emails. It recognizes that the frequency of emails has been high. It's more personal.

Email campaigns will build stronger relationships between your company and its customers if you view and write each email within the broader context of the campaign - and the moment within each relationship.

Now let's fast-forward a year.

Dear Joanne,

I just checked our records - and it's been a whole year since you first signed up for the nickGifts.com newsletter! That's great! To celebrate the moment I'm including a special code that will entitle you to a special discount on, etc.

With this email, the moment is not only being recognized, it's also being rewarded. That's how it works in real life relationships as well. We celebrate the anniversaries of our most important relationships. It's important. It matters.

The bottom line?

You can't treat email as if it were the same as a traditional broadcast medium. It's not. You have a terrific opportunity to use email as a means to build real relationships with your customers and subscribers.

To do that, to build those relationships, you need to write in a personal way that evolves with the relationship, recognizes the age of the relationship and rewards key points in that relationship.