"Today's online marketing world is full of lovely words like engagement and empowerment, communication and conversation, interaction and integration, friends, fans and followers," writes Mark Brownlow at Email Marketing Reports. "Many of these keywords go back to the age-old idea of building a strong relationship between your organization and the members of your audience."

But here's the problem with that: Marketers spend too much time talking about the relationship, and too little time having a relationship, Brownlow argues. The result, he notes, is common mistakes like these:

Speaking to your subscribers as if they're all the same person. "I don't talk to the postman like I do to my wife," Brownlow says. "And I don't talk to the postman now like I talked to him five years ago." In the same way, you should consider various factors when speaking to a subscriber:

• How long has she been on your list?
  
• What kinds of purchases does she make?
  
• What does she open and click on?
  
• How does she browse at your site?
  
• How likely is she to share your content with others?

Assuming your subscriber considers your brand a BFF. We tend to think of the email marketing relationship as having a far stronger bond than actually exists, Brownlow says. "[F]or most subscribers it's an extremely tenuous commitment. Marketers who forget this often assume unconditional love, meaning subscribers will always forgive the occasional (or regular) transgression." Your most loyal customers might forgive you, but the majority of your list won't have any trouble hitting the unsubscribe button, he cautions.

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