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When people ask me what I do, I am ready with a 10-second sound bite. In the length of time it takes for an elevator to travel one floor, I can summarize my work: “I help businesspeople become more powerful communicators through self-awareness, self-disclosure, self-acceptance and skill development.”

I have written a good bit about self-awareness and skill development, and some on self-acceptance. But I have yet to write on self-disclosure. For me, self-disclosure is the hardest piece of the puzzle, yet it is so important. Communicating without disclosing self is like trying to play tennis without a ball.

In the past, I considered myself a strong communicator. I was somewhat self-aware, I liked myself, and I had excellent speaking skills. Still, I didn't get the results I wanted.

An intensively private person, I kept my own counsel; rarely did I share my personal life at work. Also standoffish in my personal life, I didn't have many close friends.

Authoritative and unapproachable at work, I did not inspire loyalty from my staff; and while some clients valued my skills as a public relations professional, few felt any real affinity for me.

I often felt isolated and at times invisible. I remember once standing with a group of peers at an agency management retreat, and feeling lost. My peers seemed to be enjoying each other's company. But no one seemed to know, or care, that I was there. I didn't know yet that you have to show up to be seen.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Randy Siegel Randy Siegel coaches executives throughout the country in personal communications skills including presenting, speaking, messaging, interviewing and image enhancement. He can be reached at Randy@RAS-Communications.com