Numerous readers asked me to do a follow-up piece to my article, “What Makes A Manager Most,” in which I outlined the key foundational characteristics of an exceptional manager: fairness, listening, clarity, and feedback.
The first article was primarily written from the viewpoint of a manager, while this article is more from the viewpoint of a direct report who is attempting to get their manager to consistently perform the different characteristics.
The premise underpinning my recommendations/questions is that direct reports can only ultimately control their own actions, and not necessarily their manager's behavior directly (some say you can shape behavior via behavioral psychology principles, which is true to an extent).
As I stated in my previous article about these behavioral characteristics, there are no silver bullets when it comes to dealing with dysfunctional manager-direct report relationships. But like most things, there are a number of questions you can use in attempting to create insight and action plans that can help to repair the working relationship.
I am also quite cognizant, however, that many direct reports feel -- and often are -- more expendable than their managers, and thus the issue of whether to pursue a potentially career limiting discussion/action must be thought about with care, especially understanding the pragmatics and options available in a given organization, field, and job market.
Fairness
It is quite difficult to have someone act fair if there are no repercussions or consequences to acting unfair or partisan. Many people discount our legal system because of the ostensible lack of justice, fairness, and punishments to match the crime.
With that said, without an organizational system that promotes managerial fairness and transparency, and that punishes unjust and capricious actions, getting your manager to act fairly is an uphill climb. Also, fairness can be in the eye of the beholder, so it is important to make sure you have definitional alignment around this abstract term.
The following questions may help you to better understand this rather nebulous area.
- Given your knowledge of your manager, and his or her personality, do you think that he or she is aware of behaving in a way that may appear to be unfair?
- Is your manager unfair to all or some of his or her direct reports, or is it exclusive to you?
- Understanding your manager's goals, is there a way to creatively develop and execute a shared path that meets both of your needs for fairness and results?
Listening
One of the most respected authors in the professional services field is David Maister, a former Harvard Business School professor. In his book Trusted Advisor, he wrote the following: “Why is ‘being listened to' so important? The answer is not only about the need for a rational understanding of the issues. Our desire to be heard also flows from our need for respect, empathy and involvement. The trusted advisor recognizes this, and always ensures that the self-esteem of the client is protected.”
In many ways, your manager is your client or customer, and it is important for you to be the best listener you can be in discussing business and personal issues with him or her.
There are a few questions you can ask to better understand potential action steps around this area.
- How can you be a better listener to your manager and create opportunities to ask open-ended questions and then just listen attentively?
- What are the situations/topics where your manager seems to listen well and how can you apply that understanding for future interactions?
- How can you create such a compelling message that your manager will have to listen to it? (“What's in it for him or her?”)